1. Sleepless Nights?
One of the most common problems for parents with young children is sleep. One of the things that I am very happy to kiss goodbye to as my children get older is the sleepless nights. Approximately 40% of children have sleep that is perceived as being problematic by their parents.
Sleep is a chance for the body and mind to rest and regenerate, in order that your child awakes refreshed. Deep sleep is the time when your child produces the highest concentrations of growth hormone. This time is therefore important for your child's growth. More recent research has also connected lack of sleep in children under the age of 16 with childhood obesity.
Consistently poor sleep can lead to exhaustion, irritability, poor memory and concentration, aggression and depression (in both the child and parent!).
It is important to remember however that each child has his or her own individual requirements and you may have a child that just needs very little sleep. Frustrating as this may be for your own sleep, this can be an asset in later life (many world leaders get up at 4 in the morning, I am told).
2. What is the normal amount of sleep for my child?
From birth until 6 weeks your baby will sleep for about 16 hours a day, waking during both the day and the night. Babies of this age have very small tummies and therefore need to feed little and often. It is normal at this stage that there is no day and night distinction. Smaller babies may need feeding more frequently whereas larger babies may be able to go for longer between feeds.
From 6 weeks onwards your baby will be able to go for longer periods between feeds and you will notice that there starts to be a day and night routine.
Once your baby starts weaning at 6 months, he or she will feel satisfied for longer and may start sleeping for 6 hours plus during the night with one or two day time naps.
By a year old, most children will have dropped one of their day time naps and by 3 years most children do not need a sleep during the day.
If your child does not adhere to this pattern, this may be normal for them. It is worth looking at other close members of the family, as your child may have inherited their sleep pattern.
3. What can I do to help my child sleep well?
A good and consistent bed time routine is a really important habit to establish. You will find something that suits you and your family, but here are some helpful pointers that many people find ease their children into sleep.
4. Do's
Keep the time at which you put your child to bed consistent
Give your baby a bath before bed
Bottle of milk or banana before bed can aid sleep (both contain tryptophan- a substance which helps induce sleep)
Brush your baby's teeth after their bottle and before sleep
Read a story
Make night time a time for sleeping. If your child wakes during the night soothe him quickly and gently and leave. Your child should eventually be able to get back to sleep on his own without your presence.
If a nappy needs changing, change it with minimum fuss and then gently put him/her back down.
5. Don'ts
Engage in boisterous play in the hour before bed
Give your child fizzy drinks/caffeine/chocolate/coloured sweets (may contain stimulants) in the 2 hours before bed
Let your child watch TV or use the computer immediately before bed
If your child wakes during the night don't switch the light on/play with him.
Beyond 6 months, your child should not need a bottle of milk during the night. If you think your child may be thirsty, stick to bottled water.
Don't leave a child crying inconsolably. Check and make sure they are not unwell/hurt then soothe them and leave.
Don't use the bed or bedroom as a punishment
6. Should my child sleep in their own bed?
There are no right or wrong answers; you will have to decide what suits you best. Here are some pros and cons of your child sleeping in their own bed to help you make up your mind
Pros:
Your child has its own bed space and is not disturbed by you
Your baby does not rely on you to go to sleep at night and again if it wakes during the night
You are not disturbed by the noise/wriggling of your child
There is no danger of crushing (especially if you drink heavily or take sedating medication)
You have space and time for intimacy with your partner
There will be no conflict of interest when a new baby comes along
You may find it difficult to transfer your child to sleeping in their own bed in the future
Cons:
You miss out on the all night cuddles
Less ease of feeding during the night
It maybe easier to settle your baby to sleep in the short term
7. Are there any other tips for getting my child to sleep?
It is important to make sure that there isn't a reason why your child is waking. Is the bedroom too hot or too cold? Is there a noisy TV or radio nearby? If your child is bedwetting, snoring, itching or coughing, speak to your GP as they may be able to help.
For younger children/babies if they don't go off to sleep straight away, it is ok to leave them awake in their cot.
If you still have trouble getting your child to sleep, speak to your Health Visitor or GP about "sleep training." You may have a Health Visitor who specialises in sleep problems in your area and some areas have access to "Sleep Clinics".
If your toddler has difficulty getting to sleep you could try cutting out their day time nap and making sure that they engage in some kind of physical play during the day (the recommended amount of physical activity for children is an hour every day). Getting outside increases the amount of melatonin (a sleep promoting hormone) produced by the body, so try to get your child to play outside for a period every day.
8. My child wakes too early, what can I do?
It may be that your child is disturbed by the day light, especially in the summer. Thick blinds or black out curtains are a good way to block out the light in your child's bedroom.
Many children are naturally early risers. Make sure that they have safe soft toys to play with in their bed or cot, if they wake too early. There are some speciality clocks on the market, which can let your child know when it is acceptable for them to start making noise. My daughter had a clock with the face of a rabbit and when it got to 6.30 am, the rabbit's ears would go up.
Hang in there. Usually when your child starts school, they are exhausted and tend to sleep in longer.
9. Nightmares and night terrors
From about 2 years your child may have nightmares. A nightmare is a vivid bad dream. Your child may wake distressed and find it difficult to get back to sleep.
This is normal, however nightmares may start following a traumatic event in your child's life, so this possibility is important to explore if your child suddenly starts having them.
If your child has a nightmare, you should soothe them and reassure them.
Night terrors are different from nightmares as your child may have his/her eyes open but will still be asleep. They may be distressed or crying and this can be upsetting to watch as a parent, but they do not harm your child and you will find that they will have no recollection of the terror in the morning.
If your child has a night terror, do not wake them, but soothe them and then settle them down to sleep when you can.
Most children grow out of both nightmares and night terrors by the age of 10.
10. My child sleep walks, what can I do?
Sleep walking is a little like a night terror, in that your child will still be asleep, but instead of being frightened or distressed, they move around and sometimes talk instead.
There is no need to wake your child, simply guide them back to bed. It is of course important to make sure that your child is safe. A stair gate across their bedroom doorway can be helpful. Make sure that doors and windows are locked, fires protected with a guard and that knives and tools are put away.